BDSM is extremely mainstream and many associate its popularity with Fifty Shades of Grey. Actually, that's not nearly accurate. The book series and the movie are certainly be discussed but BDSM has been around for centuries.

So, what is BDSM?

Practices vary, but include combinations of bondage and discipline, sadism and masochism, and dominance and submission. Each of these behaviors represents the exchange of power. BDSM can focus entirely on sex and sex toys. But some people practice BDSM without involving sexual activity. In each case, one partner gives control of their body, mind, or both to the other partner.

Personality types often influence whether someone prefers to be dominant or submissive. In rarer cases, participants may switch roles. There are many variations on this, but the most important thing to remember is that consent is key.

You're not alone if you've ever considered exploring BDSM. It is one of the most common fantasies. Even better, you can choose how deep you're willing to delve into it. However, there are safety and welfare issues involved, so take some time to read this BDSM guide.

Every beginner's guide to BDSM should start with an explanation of roles. Some people know exactly where they belong when it comes to BDSM. There is such a thing as a dominant-submissive spectrum, and some people know very well where they land. Others take a while to figure things out. This is completely normal.

To start your journey, read more about BDSM online. Ideally, you will have a supportive partner who will research with you and participate as you experiment. Now for some vocabulary for different BDSM roles.

Dominant

This is the partner in charge. She can maintain power only during BDSM sessions or maintain the role throughout the relationship. Dominants or Doms may use physical or mental means to maintain control.

Submissive

The sub willingly surrenders control to a dom. Again, this can happen in relationships as a whole or in individual BDSM sessions.

Switch

In a switch things change. They can all become dom or sub depending on their partner, scenario or situation.

Top

Up is the person who will willingly play the role of dom in a BDSM scene. However, they may not be identified as dominant. This can be done to fulfill a partner's sexual fantasy.

Bottom

A sub is someone who can play a submissive role regardless of how they identify.

There are several subcategories. These include Daddy-dom's, Master's and Sissy's. Now to repeat the most important point. All roles and related activities involve absolute consent and the ability to withdraw such consent upon request.

For many people, perhaps even most, BDSM is undeniably sexual. However, there are others who perform BDSM sessions to fulfill a psychological or emotional need. Wherever you fit on that spectrum is fine. However, it is better to be clear on this and come to an agreement with your partners. By doing this, you can avoid miscommunications and conflicts.

Safety in BDSM

BDSM involves activities that have the potential to be physically painful and psychologically intense. Either you give control of your body and behavior to another person, or they give that control to you. Both parties need to handle this responsibly. No one should enter into a BDSM relationship or perform on a stage without discussing both safety and consent.

The best place to start is getting to know your partner. BDSM should never be about physical or mental abuse. Play it safe. Prioritize BDSM safety. Don't play with someone you don't know or trust. You should be absolutely sure that your partner will respect your boundaries and listen to your safe word.

Safety Words

The safety word is a chosen word or phrase that you or your partner can say at any time to stop the current activity.

You might be wondering, why choose a safe word? Shouldn't couples who respect consent just say "no" or "stop"?. Because much of BDSM involves consensual play-acting, this is not effective.

For example, someone may be enjoying a BDSM session while also yelling “No! Stop!” or "It hurts so bad!". They don't really want the action to stop. That's why most people choose a completely unrelated word or phrase to indicate that they really need to stop. There are, of course, password exceptions. For example, if a ball gag prevents someone from speaking... In these cases a hand can be used.

Who is Bdsm for?

Let's say you know where you stand, now it's time to figure out what turns you on. Perhaps you have a very specific fantasy or fetish to indulge in? It's also perfectly normal to be interested in using different gender constraints. Some common forms of play include discipline, chastity, bondage, and corporal punishment. The better you understand what gets you down, the more you'll enjoy your sessions.

BDSM Games: Submission and Domination for Beginners

Most people who engage in this lifestyle amass a collection of games to spice up their sessions. Handcuffs and other restraints are some of the most common toys for beginners. Try fur cuffs for ideal comfort and safety. Try light ticklers or light whips for a special sensation and close your eyes with a mask of your choice.

If you're looking for something more intense: Thigh and wrist cuffs are a unique twist on the bondage game!

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